Meet Professor Birdsong, author of '177 Dumbest Criminal Stories: International'

What was the inspiration behind this book and the rest of the series?

I have had a lot of experience with criminal law as a federal prosecutor in Washington, D.C and later a defense attorney in D.C. 

Since I now teach, I started a blog in 2008 for my students where I post, among other things, funny and weird criminal law stories I find from around the world. For this particular book I realized that I had a goodly number of international criminal law stories. So I came up With the idea of the 177 Dumbest Criminal Stories: International. In addition to the funny crime stories I tell a bit about each country they come form a bit about the legal system of the countries. Researching and editing funny criminal stories is a hobby that has led me to write books that may give people a few good laughs.

From where do you get your stories?

Each week I read a number of newspapers and check wire service stories.

What is it about these crazy stories that hooks you as a writer?

I have always found such stories as fun. I started reading the newspaper as a 12 year old newspaper boy. 

I was always amazed at some the crazy things people did that made the news.

What is it about these crazy stories that draws in readers?

The stories draw readers because they are short, easy to read and funny.

Which book in the series is your favorite?

I actually have two favorites. The first is my “Weird 365: stories for each day of the year.” This book won a 2014 Silver Medal in 2014 from the Florida Authors and Publishers Association as one of the best ebooks of the year. My second favorite is my Weird Criminal Law Stories, Volume VI: Women in Trouble. This volume contains only stories about women who get in trouble with the law.

Do you plan on doing any more of them?

Yes, I hope to put out a new volume of Dumbest Criminal Stories each year for the next two or three years.

What is one of your own personal weird and crazy stories that you would be willing to share with us?

As a federal prosecutor long ago in the 1980’s I had to prosecute a dyslexic bank robber. The fellow had trouble reading and writing but wanted to rob a bank. He wrote a note to pass to the teller and he did pass it to the teller. The note read: “This is a rob, I have a pen, give me mon.” The teller laughed at him and gave him no money. The fellow ran from the bank and was arrested a block away. 

He decided to go to trial. The teller testified at the trial. The badly written not was entered into evidence and the jury had a good laugh and then found him guilty of attempted bank robbery. 

He was given a three year prisons sentence.

Have you ever written or thought about writing a different type of book?

I have already written a book of 12 Immigration Law Essays which was published in
November 2014. In addition to teaching criminal law I also teach immigration law. I am not interested in writing fiction.

You have worked in many governmental and law positions. Which one was your favorite?

My favorite job was when I was a U.S. State Department officer posted to the U.S. Consulate in Hamburg, Germany in 1985 for three years. Hamburg was a lovely city. I had the diplomatic rank of Consul and I was the head of the nonimmigrant visa section.
I also served as the chief hearing officer for former Nazi Party members and Waffen SS soldiers who sought to obtain nonimmigrant visas to travel to the U.S. At that time there were more ex-Nazi Party members and ex Waffen SS soldiers living in this northern German area than anywhere else in the world. As such I hold the State Department record for holding more of these hearings than anyone else in the State Department.

What else can we find you doing, when not in the classroom or collecting weird criminal stories?

I spend a lot of time doing both. When I relax I like to sit at my baby grand piano and bang out and sing a few show tunes.

I also like to swim and bicycle.

How does your family support your endeavors?

My children are all grown and out of the house. My wife leaves me to my own devices
and loves to know that I am staying out of mischief by working on my stories.

What is your favorite advice to offer to your students and readers?

I say write your passion and have fun doing it. I hope my readers appreciate that I am trying to bring them a little joy by putting a funny spin on some dumb criminals.

Is there anything else you would like to add?

I think I have already said too much.

Thank you so much for your time!

You are welcome. I thank you for the opportunity to provide answers to your questions.

Professor Birdsong is out with another volume of his Dumbest Criminal stories. And he has done it again! Many of his stories are so funny that they will make you laugh out loud. He has managed to use his expertise and experience in criminal law to bring you 177 more of the most outrageous and dumbest criminal law stories from around the world. This new volume features stories of dumb criminals from China and the Far East, Stories from Around the Indian Ocean basin, Russia and Eastern Europe, the United Kingdom and France, as well as stories from Canada and Mexico. There is the story of a Chinese woman accused of killing a shopkeeper by squeezing his scrotum when he asked her not park her motorbike in front of his shop; her grip was so strong that the man went into shock and died. Then there is the story about a South Korean airline passenger who was not allowed to bring a certain liquid on the plane. She drank the liquid in front of airline officials but refused to swallow. When officials made her spit the liquid into a bucket they found she was attempting to sneak dozens of tadpoles on board. In India we learn about the use of “weapons-grade” spice wherein a group of criminals hijacked a train and freed a fellow gang member by throwing locally made chili powder in the face of police chasing them. They got away with it, too. From Australia there was a 20-year-old thief who stole a tanker truck containing 5,811 gallons of milk and led police on a two hour chase. From Poland we learn of a man who sued his ex-wife for a refund on the $8,000 he had spent on her breast implants. From Germany we find that a well-endowed woman allegedly tried to kill her boyfriend by smothering him with her size 38 DD breasts. Then there is the one about the English man arrested for having sex with his girlfriend’s dog. The stories just go on and on; this book covers just about every silly, unlawful citizens from around the in the globe. The stories are all true stories. Full of his witty “Birdsong” commentary the book is sure to deliver some great laughs. Professor Birdsong presents a wide variety of just plain, dumb criminals that make this anthology worth reading and, will, as previously stated, at times, make you laugh out loud.

Buy on Amazon

About the author:

Professor Birdsong received his J.D. from the Harvard Law School and his B.A. from Howard University. He teaches law in Orlando, Florida. After graduation from law school he worked four years at the law firm of Baker Hostetler. He then entered into a varied and distinguished career in government service. He served as a diplomat with the U.S. State Department with various postings in Nigeria, Germany and the Bahamas. Professor Birdsong later served as a federal prosecutor. After leaving government service, and before he began teaching, Professor Birdsong was in private law practice in Washington, D.C.

Find Pfr Birdsong on his website and on Twitter @Prof_Birdsong

 

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'Until the Twelfth of Never' Book Tour & Review

Until the Twelfth of Never

Coming soon to Taylor Street

They were two of the most notorious and controversial murder trials of the last twenty-five years, splitting American public opinion in half.

Before dawn on November 5, 1989, Betty Broderick got into her car and drove over to the house in San Diego of her lawyer ex-husband, Daniel T. Broderick III, and his new wife, Linda. Arriving at 5:30 a.m., she used a key that she had obtained from one of her children to enter the house by a back door and climbed the stairs to Dan and Linda’s bedroom. Five shots rang out in the dark, three hitting their targets. Linda died instantly. Dan lingered on for several minutes. As he tried to call for help, Betty stamped on his hand and tore the phone from the wall.

The prosecution claimed it was as about as clear a case of premeditated murder as anyone could imagine. Betty claimed she had gone over to the house to talk to Dan - or maybe to commit suicide in front of him - but when someone shouted, ‘Call the police’, she got flustered and started firing.

Betty Broderick was acquitted of first degree murder in her second trial but found guilty of second degree murder.

To some, Betty Broderick is virtually the patron saint of the sanctity of marriage, executing her abusive, cheating husband and his ‘nineteen year old college dropout of a Polack whore’ (actually Linda was twenty-eight, a college graduate and a professional paralegal). To others, Dan Broderick suffered his wife’s abuse of him for fourteen years of marriage, left her well provided for and then married the love of his life, only to be continually stalked for seven years, to have Betty repeatedly incite his children to kill him and Linda, to find her driving her car through the front door of his new house, and then to be murdered in the coldest of blood.

Bella Stumbo’s account of the Dan, Linda and Betty Broderick affair is encyclopedic and definitive, and ‘Until the Twelfth of Never’ was a runaway international bestseller when it was first published twenty years ago. Bello Stumbo herself died in 2002, so was not alive to cover Betty Broderick’s parole hearing in November 2011, a short account of which is included in this book.

Dan Broderick, Linda Broderick and Betty Broderick – saints or sinners? Betty Broderick - sane or insane?

Read ‘Until the Twelfth of Never’ and you will certainly have an opinion.

Read an excerpt:

Nor was she ever at a loss for the perfect, colorful anecdote to drive her point home: "I would've been treated better if l'd been a good horse or a dog that served my master well for twenty years. At least you give that animal respect and thanks … I was a faithful dog for all those years, and he couldn't even afford me the respect of saying, 'Okay, she's too old and I want to get rid of her.' Oh no. He had to throw me out and say, 'She was a piece of shit for twenty years and always a problem, and I couldn't wait to get rid of her and she deserves nothing.' He was the coldest, meanest asshole on earth." There was never a whit of self-pity in her tone—only brutal, naked rage born of screaming indignation and disbelief.

**My thoughts**

This book is well researched and well-written. I am reminded of Truman Capote's  In Cold Blood. The difference here is that Bella doesn't seem to be particularly drawn to one side or the other. She seems to have done her best to balance the good and the bad and both sides of the story. The interviews seem to be exhaustive, covering all sides of the case and events leading up to it. I can't imagine the time and energy it would have taken to put all of this together.

I vaguely remember hearing about the murder and subsequent trials. I am just a couple of years younger than the Brodercks' youngest children, so my parents would have tried to shield me from a lot of the coverage. By the time the parole hearing would have taken place, I would have not remembered it.

True crime stories are always interesting to read. The how and why of what prompts someone to commit such unspeakable acts never ceases to blow my mind. To be honest, I didn't feel sorry for either one of them as I read this book. Yes, there were moments where I did feel briefly sorry for the pain each one was going through, but most of the time I was angry at both of them. They both behaved stupidly, and shame on them for putting the children into the mix. My dislike for them kept me glued to my Kindle, though. 
I have read that this story is being turned into a major Hollywood motion picture. I may be tempted to see it, now that I know more of the story.

Buy link: http://amzn.to/UsGTho

For those who are interested, there is a movie about Betty Broderick available on Netflix. (This same movie is discussed in the book. Betty even wrote to star Meredith Baxter, who portrayed her in the film.) It will also air on the Lifetime Movie Network on Saturday, March 23, 2013 at 8 PM and Sunday, March 24, 2013 at 12 AM.

See a real picture of Betty Broderick here.

 

Bella Stumbo

Bella Stumbo was a gifted writer whose dogged reporting, grace with words and ability to make the most obstinate subjects reveal themselves led to some of the most memorable profiles and features published in The LA Times.

Around The LA Times, her habits were legendary. She gently coaxed reluctant subjects into an interview, often after submitting a previous story for examination, or after a mutual friend vouched for her character. Then she trailed her subjects for as long as they tolerated her - sometimes months on end.

When it came time to write, she would hole up at her house, not to emerge for days, during which she did not eat or sleep but chain-smoked a storm. When she was done, she would look haggard, like someone who had spent six nights on a Greyhound bus.

(From her LA Times obituary, December 7, 2002)