Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Thriving After Divorce: An Excerpt From Divorced & Scared No More! by Tasher & Tony Haynes

Divorced & Scared No More! Emotional Support for the Newly Divorced

Have you experienced Divorce? Are you questioning what your future will be after your vows of "I do" turn into "I do not" along with the loss of all the dreams that never will be fulfilled? Divorced and Scared No More: Emotional Support for the Newly Divorced is the first installment of the three-part trilogy written to assist readers in post-divorce related matters while providing you the motivation you need to move on.

Author Tasher speaks from personal experience; having gone through the many stages of relationships. This includes denial of a failed marriage, expressiveness needed to gain healing and how to remain emotionally grounded. You'll find ways to embrace your new found freedom and turn the lemons life threw at you into a Zesty Lemon Sorbet!

Therapist and clinical author Justin Nutt, LSCSW, LAC consulted as a technical advisor for the series. Insuring everything presented be accurate and quality material while still being a comforting, easy-to-read guide to surviving divorce.

Co-Author Tony Haynes is a practitioner of Acrostic Poetry -poetry where the first, last or other letters in a line spell out a particular word or phrase. At the end of each chapter, you can look forward to reading a clever poem from words found within the word DIVORCE. These are poetic thoughts that ask "How did I get here?" This rite of passage has everything to do with life and our stories affects each other because we are all connected. Now it's time to peek inside and see how, where & why our lives intersect.

There are so many insightful topics in the book, which will help you feel inspired to look inward and become aware of your needs to help you live again. There is still life after emotional death ... Isn't it time for you to be happily divorced and Divorced and Scared NO More?

Read the excerpt:
Have you ever thought to yourself, “Oh my goodness, how did this happen? How did I get here?” Going through a divorce is never easy, and whether or not it was your idea, you need time to heal. It is very painful and hard enough if you were the one leaving, or even if you both agreed divorce was the best option. However, it can be more difficult if you didn’t see it coming. It can create a maelstrom of emotion. You might feel literally speechless or even hysterical because it is a heartbreaking and painful experience, leaving a family torn apart, confused, and angry. Children are hurt through the process, even if, in the end, it’s best for them, too. 
In the initial shock of a divorce, especially when you are caught off guard, your mind most often shields itself with denial to help you survive emotionally. Denial can temporarily help you soak up the initial trauma and the harsh feelings of betrayal, desperation, and rejection. You might be telling yourself, whether consciously or unconsciously, that it isn’t really happening. You may even try to convince yourself that your spouse was just bluffing, and you may avoid telling anyone your mate has left because you are still in utter disbelief. 
I know that feeling. You just want to get through the horrific pain that left you feeling as if you had everything inside of you ripped out. The pain is even more intense when you begin to try coping with your own suffering while still maintaining a sense of normalcy for your children.
The laundry is waiting to be done, bills need to be paid, your house needs to be cleaned, there’s work at the office, and your children need you. Getting through the day with all these responsibilities when you’re emotionally torn seems like an impossible feat. And then more bills need to be paid. (For more on the practical realities of life after divorce, see the second book in this series: Divorced and Scared No More! Practical Advice for the Newly Divorced.) 
Hurt and denial don’t do the laundry. They don’t pay the bills. They don’t clean your house. You still need to work, more than ever now, yet you need to be your very best at parenting at the same time. It’s a difficult balance, to say the least. 
Unfortunately, the world doesn’t stop turning just so you can grieve the end of your relationship. No matter how strong a person you are, a major change in life such as a divorce is bound to leave you staggering before you find your feet again. You need to believe in yourself and know this is definitely not the end of the road, that there is a long journey ahead, and that joy is still possible for you. 
Though it won’t happen overnight and probably won’t be as easy to do as it sounds, you will eventually shake the baggage from your past off your shoulders and move ahead full throttle. Everything is yours to handle alone now, but don’t shortchange yourself. You’ve probably been doing it all on your own anyway; now you’ve got to do it without a chunk of the income. So try—again easier said than done—but try to deal with issues head on. Keeping a roof over the kids’ heads and food in their tummies will always come first. Although it seems like money and career can’t wait, you can steal a little time from them. Prioritize! You will never need your skills in prioritizing as much as you need them now. 
Recognize also there will be times when you feel alone even in a room full of people. Realize the lonely feelings will not last forever, unless you let them. Take a moment and really think about it: you probably were alone before your ex-spouse physically left, and now you’re dealing with the reality of life without their presence. In some ways, it might be a relief—no more walking on eggshells. You can say whatever you want, whenever you want! You get the bed all to yourself and all the blankets to boot! It’s okay to be you and do the things you like. This is a major life change; time is your friend now. If you work on processing your feelings, time will help heal your wounds. Give yourself permission to accept this transitional period while you work on all the pieces of yourself.

Available in Paperback

Also available as an ebook and scared no more&index=aps&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=xm2&linkId=a9ba771030e312aaff83a969191bcdf5

There are four giveaways for this book. Enter them here:

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About Tasher 

Tasher was divorced on her 26th wedding anniversary, and she embarked on a new life. Her marriage was broken all to pieces, she was not going to let the divorce break her. Tasher quickly discovered that single life was very different from all those years ago. Like many, she initially was scared. Yet she was determined to become Divorce and Scared NO More!

Despite her dyslexia, she decided to share with others things she learned while rebuilding her life. The launch of quickly received a worldwide following. The logo was inspired by a set of broken pilot wings. No two people will have identical situations, hopefully the DASNM series will assist others with the least amount of trepidation, during this difficult transition.

Tasher is not a professional therapist, rather she is sharing because she has "been there and done that" understanding how it FEELS. Therapist and clinical author Justin Nutt LSCSW, LAC consults as her technical advisor. Insuring everything presented be accurate and quality material while still being a comforting, easy-to-read guide to surviving divorce.

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