The
Night My Husband Killed Me
Kathleen Hewtson
Kathleen Hewtson
Genre:
Fiction/Paranormal/True Crime
Publisher:
Taylor Street Books Publication Date 07-11-2012
ISBN:
1478231688
ASIN:
B008KEE5W2
Number
of pages: 328
Word
Count: 90.000
Cover
Artist: Tim Hewtson
Book
Description:
A
movie heart-throb
A
sports superstar
An
aristocrat
A
brilliant surgeon
Killers
all.
These
are the stories of those they killed.
Their
wives.
'The
Night My Husband Killed Me', is the story of four women who were
murdered by their husbands.
All
of the women were beautiful, and were either famous at the time of
their deaths, or became famous for being the victims of the
charismatic, disturbed, men who ended their lives.
Being
dead doesn’t end a woman’s feelings, or her anger. There is
Natalie, the international and revered movie star who died the death
she had most feared all of her life. There is the beautiful,
life-loving Nicole, who might just have gone back to the stunning
athlete she loved, if only he hadn’t killed her first. Then there
is Sunny, heiress to one of America's greatest fortunes, sent into an
irreversible coma for paying too much for all the wrong things. And
finally, there is Colette, the high school sweetheart who married the
golden boy and endured a marriage of increasing lies and
disappointment, culminating in her death and that of her little girls
shortly after Valentine’s Day.
These
four amazing women’s lives were cut short, but each has a story to
tell … and now they have.
Read an excerpt:
THE
NIGHT MY HUSBAND KILLED ME
“Yet each man
kills the thing he loves
By each let this be heard.
Some do it with a bitter look, some with a flattering word.
The coward does it with a kiss, the brave man with a sword!
Some kill their love when they are young and some when they are old;
Some strangle with the hands of lust, some with the
hands of gold.
The kindest use a knife because the dead so soon
grow cold.
Some love too little, some too long, some sell and others buy.
Some do the deed with many tears, and some without a
sigh.
For each man kills the thing he loves, yet each man does not die.”
Oscar Wilde
The Ballad of
Reading Gaol
Chapter One PART I COLETTE
“From
such a gentle thing, from such a fountain of all delight, my every
pain is born.”
Michelangelo
Of
course I didn’t see it coming. One minute I was going on with my
life and then I was fighting for it and then it was over.
I
never saw myself as special when I was alive. I think maybe if I’d
been given time I might have become a little special; at least I was
trying. I never stopped trying; not after I had to drop out of
college because I was pregnant──not during the rough hurried
years of early marriage and motherhood which happened to me
simultaneously. No matter how little time or money or how few my
chances were, I kept trying.
I
was taking an extension class the night my husband killed me. I was
pregnant again for the third time in five years and like always; we
were living somewhere I didn’t much want to be because he was
trying something new.
The
night he killed me I was a very ordinary woman who was struggling to
become someone that things didn’t just happen to, and my
husband…well he was his ordinary self too. The thing of it is
though, my husband had never been ordinary
and nothing ever just happened
to him. He was a rainmaker and what he wanted, he achieved. When he
was around, people could barely restrain themselves from clapping. I
was supposed to clap too, and I had── I almost always had,
except
for that one night── one rainy night when I was tired and
pregnant again and
maybe feeling a little sorry for myself and for the whole
camp-follower lifestyle I was living. I didn’t clap and I didn’t
pay enough attention to him. I didn’t try to make it up to him even
though I understood the rules. Despite how he saw himself and how I
knew by then he wanted
to be seen and to be
living, I treated him like an ordinary husband and father. I asked
him why, just for once he couldn’t have washed the dishes for me.
We
had a silly little argument; at least I
thought it was silly. Instead of just answering me or shrugging it
off, he started a recitation of all that was on him: The
responsibilities, the constant need to shine, the expectations and
how he didn’t need to hear complaints from me of all people,
because who should know better than me what he sacrificed.
It
was the kind of argument every married couple has had hundreds of
times over the course of a marriage, but those kinds of arguments
weren’t the norm in our
marriage. I had spent our years
together listening to his stories and applauding his accomplishments
and if I clapped hard enough and acted very excited, then he might
deign to ask me about my day or even better, play with the girls for
half an hour or so.
I
knew all of that; I
knew it that night. I knew he saw himself as the big hero for having
let me go to class and for having stayed in for three whole hours
with the girls. I understood my script too. I was supposed to rush in
and thank him at least three times for letting me go off gallivanting
to the university’s extension class and then encourage him to tell
me either his latest story of heroism from the emergency room or the
story of someone else’s incompetence and how he had to go in and
clean it all up.
This
was our routine, but it was late and I was wet from the rain and
pregnant and tired and I slipped up. Instead of going into the
kitchen and just pouring us both the aperitifs he liked to drink
before bedtime, I went into the kitchen and saw the sink full of
dirty dishes and asked him why he couldn’t have washed them for me.
That’s
a normal enough question, or I imagine it’s normal enough in other
people’s marriages; it was atypical for us though, and the stunned
look he gave me made me feel like I had asked or said something much
more explosive than my innocuous comment.
We
had some undetonated land mines in our marriage, he and I.
Governments were doing that back then, back when I was alive; they
buried bombs in the ground. I think they said it was to protect our
battle lines, but they didn’t seem to work like that──the
buried bombs, because it seemed like every night on the news I was
watching Walter Cronkite tell some sad story about an innocent
civilian who had stepped on one and gotten blown to kingdom come.
That’s
a pretty good description of what happened to me, an innocent
civilian who unknowingly detonated a buried land mine and got blown
apart. There were children who stepped on the mines too… that’s
called a casualty of war. My children sleeping in their beds that
night became casualties of war.
Seeing
the look on his face, I backed down. I always thought that someplace
out ahead of me in a Colette I wanted to be but wasn’t yet, that I
might in truth set off some real landmines. I might for instance
bring up the other women and the lies; my God there were so
many lies. But it wasn’t going to be that
night.
I
was too young and my babies, including the one in my stomach were too
young and I hadn’t had enough life and time yet to become the
future Colette who could begin conversations like that. It was a
pretty big breakthrough for me to even bring up the dishes, but
seeing his face I backed down; you couldn’t criticize him and I
knew that. I started backpedaling. I tried to make a little joke
about saying it, telling him that I was turning into an old nagging,
pregnant shrew.
He
didn’t laugh but he did take the little glass of liqueur I poured
for him. I tried to shore him back up asking about his new on call
job at the hospital but he was too displeased with me to engage, and
I was very tired. I decided we were both exhausted and that maybe it
wouldn’t hurt anything if just once I just went bed and left him
unappeased.
I
told myself I would be extra attentive in the morning and I would
remember not to ever ask him to wash the dishes again and it would
probably be fine. He let me kiss him on the head and told me that no,
he was going to stay up and read for awhile. He said it was the first
chance he had had all night to be alone. It was a direct hit at me…
a reminder that I had made him stay with the children.
There
was this entire subtext to his remark as well; in that at least we
weren’t so different than other married couples. In every marriage
something as simple as good morning can mean are we okay, are you
still in this with me, do you still love me, like me, want me, want
us?
In
my case that night since he was punishing me, his remark meant I
am trapped in this small cramped apartment with you and two children
I never wanted. I am trapped in this ill fitting life that I don’t
belong in, and it’s all your fault and instead of trying to make it
easier on me you nag me about doing women’s work?
I
was pretty versed in marital speak and in my husband’s not so
subliminal signals by then, so I got it in one. Maybe if I had turned
back to the living room instead of towards bed, we all would have
gone on living; maybe not happily ever after but at least gone on. I
didn’t feel like sitting down with him though and stroking his ego
back up with a gratitude I didn’t feel anymore.
I
guess if I thought about it at all then, I thought that we would get
up and face another day and if the days were starting to drag for
him, then it wasn’t any different for me. That phrase, ‘chain of
days’ can be pretty apt.
What
I understood though and saw too late that he didn’t, was that this
was simply the life that people went through when they were young and
had small kids and not much money. I understood that it would change
over time and get easier.
Our
parents and their parents before them had gone through it and I
figured we would too. I also understood that us getting through it
with the minimum of trauma and residual resentment rested mostly on
me. It was up to me to keep the waters as smooth as possible for him
so he didn’t give into his desire to make a run for it. If I’d
had to declare the state of our union that night, I wouldn’t have
said his level of disappointment or boredom or frustration was any
higher than usual. Nor was my level of stoic concealed sadness any
more apparent.
It
was just one more night for an ill suited couple who had been forced
by some circumstances into a marriage that probably should never have
happened but had anyway. In that, we were pretty typical, I imagine,
of millions of other people at that time and place in our country. I
thought we would get by, or if not, that it would take a few years
longer… at least until the kids were a little older before it
ended.
How
could I have known that for him it had become truly unbearable? He
didn’t tell me; well he couldn’t have. That would have been an
admission of failure
and at least in his own eyes he could never fail.
So
there we were …the tired pregnant woman who, if not happy, still
thought she might become that way, and the tired desperate man who
had begun to feel like he couldn’t breathe anymore and I had
without knowing it, put a spark to the tender of his growing anger.
It’s
natural that his anger faced outward at the girls and me; nothing was
ever his fault. So if
you can, then try to look through his eyes that last night. There he
was…a young brilliant surgeon, a winner by any standard, trapped
in a small on-post apartment that dissatisfied him, never mind that
it was his choice
alone that had landed us there.
**My thoughts**
This book is definitely an interesting concept, passing true crime stories off as fiction. They are true crime in that the stories are real. They are real people who were really murdered. The fiction part comes into play with what was actually said between some of them. A lot of that would be speculation based on the hours and hours of research that would have gone into tracking down the stories of these women's murders. I can't imagine trying to do all of that research! Also, the stories are told from the point-of-view of the deceased women. They are ghosts sharing the stories of their final days on Earth, and what brought them to that point.
The women are all ghosts, which elicits visions of wispy beings floating through the air. Their voices are much like this. They tend to ramble, with some thoughts rabbit-trailing here and there, which fits with that vision. I think if you read each woman's story at a separate time, instead of trying to read through, you will hear their individual voices a bit more clearly between parts. Reading the book all at once, as I did, their voices almost seem to stay the same from character to character.
The gruesome ends that these women met are horrifying, no matter how the story is told. All four of them are famous stories. If you aren't sure what really happened or who someone is, you can easily Google the actual accounts. Chances are, the stories are already quite familiar to you. I found myself getting annoyed with them, as the signs of abuse and inevitable murder seemed to obvious. Then again, I have the benefit of hindsight. Would those signs have been quite as obvious to any of us had we been in the middle of the situations?
This is the kind of book that is going to appeal to those who like true crime and Hollywood gossip.
About
the Author
Kathleen Hewtson lives and
writes in San Francisco California, her writing focuses on actual
cases which she then takes and makes into books about how it might
have happened. This is her fifth novel.
Darn, I just left a comment for you but I don't think it worked. The jist of my comment was that as a person in the mental health field (Master's in Psychology) I am fascinated by human behavior and what goes on in the minds of the abuser/sociopath, psychopath. So sad that these women crossed paths with what I call, 'white collar sociopath.' My twin sister was married to an abusive man for thirteen years. Her ex was very charming and did everything right to woo her when they dated. Once they got married, she soon saw the man he really was. He is a sinister, abusive man that cares about no one except himself and that includes his two children. I thank God everyday my sister got out of the relationship without getting killed but she still has to deal with him because they have kids together. I thank you for writing about this author's books and plan to check them out. Glad to be a new follower of your blog (thanks to MrBill who put your story on his daily paper.) If your interested, I have a blog called 'Twincess Diaries...' which is my life and stories about being a identical twin. My address is: twincessone.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteNope, your other one didn't come through. I do monitor them, because I have a ridiculous amount of spam.
DeleteI am so sorry that your sister has to deal with that, but glad that she has been able to take a step away. Good luck to you both!